|
- Black Friday Part I -
|
Sunday, November 27, 2005
|
I admit, I'm a Black Friday junkie. I have been, well, I guess as long as I've been married and maybe even before that. It puts me in the holiday spirit and gives me this certain rush. Especially when you find something in the sale ads you really want or need and see that it's going to be a great deal on Black Friday. It's kinda like when Buffett tickets go onsale. You know you want them, the better the seats, the bigger the task--but just getting 'in' is half the battle.
Two years ago it was trampolines that were one of the big sellers at Wal Mart. My mom called me about two weeks before Thanksgiving to tell me she was getting the kids a trampoline for Christmas and when I saw they were going to sell for some outrageously cheap price on Black Friday I made her return her's, send me the $ and I would buy it much, much cheaper---plus accomplish something for myself. I would succomb to the mental and physical battle that Black Friday entails! I got to Wal Mart at 4:30, they opened at 5. I was about 5th in line for the trampolines....whew, I made it. (I'd hate to have to tell my mom to go back to the store and get the trampoline all over again because I didn't make it in time to get a bargain trampoline!) But--the news started spreading like wildfire...there were only 9 trampolines at that store! I was about 5th in line, but one person wanted two...so I would still be guaranteed a trampoline, I hoped. By myself I stood in line...waiting. Watching my cell phone (to see what time it was), waiting...waiting. Several people started getting in line for the trampolines about 4:50am when the first lady in line (who had been there since 2am) told those people the trampolines at that time were all accounted for. I guess she didn't believe her, the woman continued in line. We saw the trampolines on a big pallet in front of us. The store employee (about 70 years old I think) started taking the tarps off the boxes and began lifting them up on end to have the barcode. People started rushing in to get their trampoline...5 minutes left. Finally, time to ring them up. The poor old man tried lifting those trampolines up into the shopping carts, which was nearly and impossible task by himself, considering those oblong boxes weighed at least 200 pounds.
I started to wonder what I was going to do, there was no way I was going to lift that box up by myself and put it in a 4' x 2' metal basket on wheels. Luckily, the old man helped me, with the help of another man. I held the cart so it wouldn't move. Whew, in the cart in went and I took off. It was like an episode of the game show Shop til' You Drop! I took off, full speed ahead--which was actually turtle's pace considering the weight of my cart, the 4 foot of weapon hanging off the front and the mobs of people. I paid for my gem and headed to the parking lot.
Oh no...the parking lot. It's still dark outside! Where did all these people come from? Oh shoot....where did I park? I wander aimlessly looking for my vehicle when finally I find it. I open the back of the Explorer and start to think. OH SHOOT! How in the HELL am I going to get this 200lb, 7 foot long box in the back of my truck all by myself? I look around and see nobody that is in any shape (or mood) to help. I prop my cart against the back bumper of the truck, place my right foot in front of the left front wheel and start to tug on the plastic cord that is wrapped around the box. UGGGH, UGGGH, UGGGH. Hmmmpft. How in the HELL am I going to get this in, I repeat to myself. Finally, I figure if I can lift up the cart by the handle and dump the box in the back, the box will fall on the back of the back seats that are laying down and I'll just pull the cart out real fast. Yeah, that's what I'll do. Just about the time I'm getting ready to do the big dump a truck drives by me very slowly. I look and see a woman in the passenger seat that I recognize...then I see the driver, Bobby, a deputy that works with us.
Oh, Bobby! You're a lifesaver I yelled! He asked me if I needed help (as if it weren't obvious) and lifted the box into the truck for me.
Several bruises, a hurt back and about an hour later I arrived home, safe, unharmed and trampoline in tow. I gave myself a pat on the back and a good job high five for another year tackled of Black Friday mayhem, and went back to bed!
| |
|
|
|
- -
|
Saturday, November 26, 2005
|
 This was an interesting group....Chris from St. Pete, Dave, Chris & Matt O-D
| |
|
|
|
- -
|
|
 The margaritas made Melissa hungry on Thanksgiving Day...
| |
|
|
|
- 32 Days Until Christmas... -
|
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
|
A Christmas Story
'Twas the night before Christmas--
Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--
The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--
Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!
Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde.
I'm going SOUTH for the season
| |
|
|
|
- -
|
|
To my loyal readers and lurkers (I know you're out there!!)-
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
xo Kelly
| |
|
|
|
- -
|
Monday, November 21, 2005
|
My sinus infection cleared up---now it's just allergies!
| |
|
|
|
- Blood, Guts and Gore (well, almost) -
|
Monday, November 14, 2005
|
Having a sinus infection sucks. What's really bad is I get one almost every other month, on average. I don't smoke--nobody in my house does--and I don't have mold at home, so it must be contributed to allergies. I could blame it on my office, because it tends to have a dampness sometimes, but I did work at the Emergency Operations Center for over two years, which is very comparible to a bunker (imagine that in the Florida humidisticky) and had the same problem there as well. My doctor hints around that maybe I should consult my ENT for sinus surgery but I'm not all about that. Imagine having your nose poked and prodded at, peeled apart, put back together then having a tampon shoved up into your sinues for a couple days. Now---imagine them taking it out---yep, after clotting and starting the healing process (yep, scabbing and all) pulling that sucker out. From what I hear it feels like your eyeballs, ears, maxible and everything else should be coming out with it. In other words, it's not a pleasant experience. (Oh--your welcome for all of you with weak stomachs, not wanting the gory details--hmb) So, for now I'll just complain about it on my blog and gross everakj;djk (oops, my fingers slid off the keys from snot dripping all over) everyone out by talking about it.
xoxo
| |
|
|
|
- 8th Grade Math??? EEEK! -
|
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
|
| You Passed 8th Grade Math |  Congratulations, you got 8/10 correct! |
| |
|
|
