- - Wednesday, June 29, 2005

posted by VRA @ 8:09 AM [[ 0 comments ]]

- Mrs. Smith lost her dog... - Ok..continuing the previous post. Tuesday night turned out to be a lot of fun. After midnight we continued haning out with the school principals who were very intoxicated--very funny to watch. Can you imagine your middle/high school principal hanging out, likkered, at a night club in Orlando? Too funny. Anyway, Wednesday morning didn't go so well for me. I was a little under the weather. I made it to the conference, which thankfully started at 10am. We saw some girls from the state attorney's office there and also found our new friend...we'll call him "Paco". He's a victim advocate from...somewhere else. Don't want to give out too many details to reveal his "real" identity! ha ha. Anyway, Paco felt the same as us, so that was good! We went to our conference then the girls all went to lunch. I went back to our room to skip lunch and take a nap! The afternoon conference was pretty good--we talked about Amber Alerts/Kidnapping cases. We got to hear another advocate's account of an abduction she worked in the Gainesville area. The girl in her story was returned, unlike Jessie. After the conference Wednesday Melissa and I went outlet shopping. The weather got kinda crappy and started to storm, so we didn't stay long. On a side note, I really hate it when I find something I like but choose not to buy it, because I'm so early into shopping and might find something better. I found a very cute pair of white linen pants at Old Navy, in the outlets we went to Tuesday. I didn't buy them because I knew we were going to another set of outlets, which sometimes has a better selection, on the other side of Orlando Wednesday. Went to those outlets and didn't find a thing...PLUS, the pants weren't at the Old Navy in these other outlets. (Are you confused yet?). Anyway, since we were meeting Tabby, Beth and Paco that night at Fridays, I wasn't going to have time to go to the other Old Navy to get them. Which then meant I would have to go Thursday night to get them. BUT...here's the catch. Thursday was the banquet. The conference I wanted to attend didn't end until 4:45, and the banquet started at 6:00. So I would have no time to get them Thursday, unless I went at lunch. Problem solved, will go at lunch. So we meet Paco & the girls at TGI Friday's. It was good--they drank...I drank water. I had a strawberry salad--field greens, strawberries, parmesean cheese and poppy seed dressing. It was SOOO good. After Friday's we decided we needed to check out the hotel club, Backstage, since it was ladies night. We got dressed, went down there, only to find out Tabby couldn't get in...she's only 20. (Those days are so far behind me I forgot what it was like! Besides, I never really had that "can't get in" problem--I was 21 way before I was 'really' 21--right Holly?). We decided since our 20 year old wasn't going to get in anywhere, we would go to Church St. and check out some of the clubs down there. We found ourselves at Mako's. (Pronounced May-Co's). I'm not sure who's great idea this was. (Well, besides the guy saying 18 & up welcome, ladies free drinks till midnight). We walk in to see a skinny blonde, who looks like she's 15, wearing nothing but something resembling bra & panties (ooh, hate that word panties) standing on a swing hanging from a ceiling with knee high boots on. The guys were all shirtless wearing kilts. But...the music was good. We stood around, got some free drinks...and watched in amazement at how everyone was dressed (or lack of). They would take bottles of SOW-ZA (ha ha) it's actually Souza tequilla and pour shots into anyone's mouth who would want some. YUCK...none for us, thanks. This was probably one of the craziest bars I've been in, but would be great for a bachelorette party! Anyway, we mosied on back toward the bathrooms when I see a very tall black man in a suit. Being that everyone else is half clothed, I ask him why all the fanciness? He said follow me...so we followed him back to the VIP area, which was very nice. Much like a Martini bar, little bit older crowd...mostly gay men. They weren't PDA gay, just appeared gay and if I had to bet a limb on it I would have. Anyway, the bar closed at close to 3am...so we took off. I mean, we didn't have to be up until 10am for our next class, right? Right. Tabby takes us all back to the hotel (most of us, with the exception of Beth are sober) where they decided to stay...but we thought we wanted blueberry pancakes...so Me, Melissa and Paco go to Perkins. Melissa and I split an order of blueberry pancakes...but when we placed our order I (politely, of course!!! ha ha) told our waiter that I didn't want the whipped cream and powdered sugar shit on top of our pancakes. He said ok. 20 minutes later our food arrives. Here's our stack of pancakes with BLUEBERRY SAUCE on top. Yep, that's our blueberry pancakes! I say to the waiter "what is this shit all over our pancakes?" He says, "that's blueberry, you wanted blueberry pancakes, right?". "Well, yes," I say, "but I wanted the blueberries inside the pancakes, not on top, but these will have to do." I thought Melissa would crawl under the table and hide, between laughing and embarassment. Now, I know this could reveal Paco's identity to someone who just happens to click on "Paco from Puerto Rico" on Google. But...we get on the subject of inner tubes, illegal aliens, etc... Earlier in the night we just happened to make a wrong left turn into the hood. Paco made a comment that tomorrow's paper would say 4 Women and a Puerto Rican mugged, raped and murdered in Orlando. So, (now, don't get me wrong, in no way shape or form am I racist) I say, NO...silly. The paper won't say anything about the Puerto Rican...they don't count! And...if it did say PR...it wouldn't be a headline. It would be a short 1/2 paragraph on the back of the paper in "other news". We all laughed and that was the end of it. During our breakfast it was brought up again...this time Melissa (who in no way shape or form is racist) had to clarify what the headline would really read if a PR was involved in something. Mrs. Smith Looses her Dog in Orlando. In other news, PR man found raped, mugged & murdered. Period. Well, I'm sure you probably had to be there, but Melissa and I laughed so hard we couldn't even eat. It was hysterical! Paco didn't find the humor in it! LOL! Anyway, I'm not going to go into Thursday, it was basically the same except Melissa drank enough for the 4 of us. She wound up with bruises on her elbow, hip and a possible broken toe...not sure how that happened. But, a good time was definitely had by all and it took all weekend for us to recover from our lack of sleep over the past 3 days! How many days until next year's conference???

posted by VRA @ 6:53 AM [[ 1 comments ]]

- Room Service, You Order a Taco? - Friday, June 17, 2005 First let me start out by saying I have not had so much fun as I did this past 3 days in a long, long time. It was completely harmless, laugh till your stomach muscles hurt, fun! We were shipped to a conference in Orlando for people in the victim/witness profession. We were looking forward to the break, after a long, hectic past couple of months. We checked into our hotel, which was very nice, definitely for business class but also catered to their families as well. It was a 14 story hotel with a very large pool, several restaurants and a nightclub. We made the mistake of going to lunch at the hotel at their "gourmet buffet". Yuck. We spent $16 for lunch that was definitely not worth it! Later we went outlet shopping, hung around the hotel pool then went to dinner with Jason, Samantha and the kids. That was fun, but we were all getting tired. Melissa and I decided to go to the club in the hotel. It was dead at first, but they were playing some really good dance music, so we decided to stay. The Pistons were also on, so we watched that as well. We opened a tab and much to our surprise had a JAM UP bartender. He was so much fun! At any given time we had full drinks. We laughed and watched the group of school principals dance and have a good time. At one point I told the bartender if I had to continue watching them my drinks were going to have to be A LOT stronger! He laughed, but I think he took me seriously! Midnight rolls around... TBC...

posted by VRA @ 4:35 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

- What Type of Alcoholic Drink Are You? - Sunday, June 12, 2005 Click on this link to see other quizes like... Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you? Which book of the Bible are you?

posted by VRA @ 5:58 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

- Busboy Bags Buffett's VIP-filled cellphone! - Friday, June 10, 2005 Wednesday, June 8, 2005 Palm Beach troubadour Jimmy Buffett is facing Paris Hilton-esque embarrassment. No, not the sex tapes. In Buffett's case, it's the cellphone, silly! According to a police report, a busboy in a Delray Beach eatery found Buffett's cell and kept it for a week. After coaxing by Buffett's staff and even wife, Jane Buffett, went awry, it took a visit from Lake Worth cops and a U.S. Secret Service agent to the home of busboy Jason Martin on June 4 for Buffett to get the phone back. Problem is: The fancy Ericsson's memory card with the names, phone numbers and some addresses of dozens of big-deal Buffett buds is missing. It may be time for Democratic giants Bill Clinton, Al Gore and Jimmy Carter; country music stars Clint Black, George Strait and Alan Jackson; rap-reggae star Cam'ron; actors George Clooney, Michael Douglas and Harrison Ford; and Microsoft supergeek Bill Gates to change their numbers. Martin says all their info is on the microchip. "We were sitting around smoking weed and strolling down the list on Jimmy's phone, going 'Wow!' " Martin told Page Two. He said he didn't call anyone on the list. But according to the police report, Martin said some of his friends may have crank-called former President Clinton. Martin, 22, said he found the $500 phone at 4 a.m. May 29 outside the Cuban joint Brisa Atlantica. Buffett was spotted going wild on the dance floor earlier that morning. No one seemed to miss the phone until May 30, when a Buffett minion dialed the cellphone's number, and Martin answered. "He said I was a thief and a liar," Martin said. "Then I called Jane's number, and she was nasty to me. So I told them I wouldn't give it back." When a $200 reward didn't help, the country cross-over singer of It's Five O'Clock Somewhere called the restaurant for help, he told Page Two Monday. Brisa owner Israel Torres then fired Martin and called the cops. Because of the Clinton and Carter entries in the memory, WPB-based Secret Service agent Tim Sturgell also responded. Martin gave the cell back, sans SIM card. Secret Service spokesman Steve Caruso said there is no active investigation involving Buffett. Lake Worth police didn't return calls for comment, and neither did staff for Clinton, Carter, Clooney and Black. Martin, whose criminal record includes a marijuana-related conviction, wasn't arrested. "It's a person's worst nightmare," Buffett said. "I had probably left the phone on the restaurant table, but I got it back." The chip? "There wasn't much on it," he said. "Although whoever had the phone may have called a couple of my contacts." He didn't elaborate, then claimed to have locked the phone's keyboard with a password. "Not true," Martin said. "I wonder if Jimmy really knows how these things work." See the article on the Palm Beach Post website.

posted by VRA @ 6:56 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

- Budweiser "Real American Genius" Commercials - Monday, June 06, 2005 I have to admit, I think these are great--and almost wish they were on tv so we could see a video to go with the song. I heard one the other day that made me almost fall out of the car, laughing hysterically. I can't find it online yet, but it is something to the effect of "Real American Genius...we salute you, Mr. afraid to swim in the sea". I swear this song was wrote about our friend Justin. Now, I won't mention Justin's last name, or that he works with us, or that his family owns a yummy deli, as not to give away his identity...but just to fill you in, Justin thinks manatees are "human killing machines". Today, Budweiser salutes you, Justin!

posted by VRA @ 6:52 AM [[ 1 comments ]]

- My Conversation With Somoene Who's Not Quite As Smart As Me... - Wednesday, June 01, 2005 Holly and I went to Clearwater Beach on Saturday to hang out. We found ourselves at Shephard's Resort's Memorial Weekend bash. It was fun, to say the least. We rented a Jet Ski. The following conversation is between me and the Jet Ski shop worker. Worker: Can I help you? Me: Um, yeah--we'd like to rent a Jet Ski. Worker: Oh, um, ok. (Like he was confused at where he was working. Maybe I should have ordered a shake and large fries.) Me: Ok? Worker: Ok. Me: Ok......(getting annoyed) now what? Worker: Oh, do you want it for 30 or 60 minutes? Me: (After conversing with Holly) I think an hour will do, for now. Worker: Puzzled look on his face. Me: I mean, if we go over I'll pay for it, but the seas are high, so we'd better just try an hour right now. Worker: So...30 or 60 minutes? Me: Ummmm, same puzzled look on my face that he just had. 60 minutes, please. Worker: Ok, fill out this waiver. Me: Ok, it's done Worker: Wow, that was fast. (All I had to do was check about 5 yes or no boxes and sign) Me: Mmm hmm, now what? Worker: Oh, I need your ID. Me: Ok, here it is--flipping my badge wallet open to show him my ID. Worker: Grabs my badge wallet and looks at it. (Badge clearly says: VICTIM ADVOCATE on top and CITRUS COUNTY SHERIFF'S OFFICE along the bottom.) Cool badge, I just bought one of these at the flea market. Keeps looking at it. Me: Frowning, Are you freakin' kidding me? Worker: Yeah. Me: Oh ok. (Not really finding the humor in this conversation at all!) Worker: So, are you a corrections officer? Me: (Now I'm really annoyed) NOOOOO...I'm a Victim Advocate. Worker: Oh...how much did that badge cost you? Me: I didn't pay for it, my agency issued it. Worker: Oh...you mean they just gave it to you? Me: Uhhh, yeah!? Worker: Cool---lockers are over there, have a nice ride. Sometimes I feel if I would have beat my head against a brick wall I would have accomplished a lot more.

posted by VRA @ 11:06 AM [[ 0 comments ]]