- Sometimes I hate my job... - Friday, February 18, 2005 I know I originally said I was going to talk about cases and change the names of the guilty until proven innocent, but haven't really gotten to that much. To much of life has come in the way! Well, now I'm going to do just that. It all started this morning while at a meeting at a local hospital. We were tyring to explain to them that it is ILLEGAL and morally unjustifiable to bill a rape victim. When a hospital sends a bill to a victim of rape it literally revictimizes them. Not only do the have bad memories, but ultimately are held "responsible" for the trauma that just occurred. Just as we were about to get through to them I get a call from dispatch for a domestic violence victim. I tell dispatch I'm enroute (to the other side of the freakin' moon) to the address of the DV victim and hop in my NEW 2005 FORD FOCUS, which by the way I'm very proud of, I remember that I have to stop by my house to get a spare charger, because my cell phone battery is dead. Actually, my agency cell phone and my personal cell phone both have dead batteries. Prior planning on my part would have been handy. Anyway, I get my charger and head out, when the Sgt. on duty calls me to make sure I'm responding (as it was taking me forever and a day to get there) and to give me another deputies name and cell phone number to call, as I had NO information about this call. Yes, I could have called dispatch over the radio for the details, since my batteries were dead, but it wasn't anything that couldn't wait until I got my charger. I talk to the deputy on scene, who tells me the suspect's name. I immediately recognized the name, as it's my boys' birth mother's boyfriend. Does that make sense? Anyway, I start to panic, on top of getting a little...ok a lot of anxiety. I happened to be the only advocate on duty, as the other took the day off...so here I am responding to my boys' biological mother who was just beat by her boyfriend. We'll call her.....Mary. Mary has a history of being beat by boyfriends. Now, this is my professional opinion, and please don't try to debate this because it's not going to work with me, but...once a domestic violence victim, then I truely believe you may be a victim. Maybe even twice. But when you are a domestic violence victim repeatedly then that is your own fault. I even believe that you may be a contributor to the violence, like what's known as "mutual combat". Now, I'm not saying this is every case, but the majority of the cases I come across this is how it is played out. After trying to find some other resources for Mary to no avail, I decide to call her myself and see how I can help her. I ID myself as a nameless victim advocate and ask her what happened. She goes on to tell me the details to which I sound empathetic. She tells me she's got a C-section scar that was kicked and explains that she has 3 children. I ask her if her children were a witness--which is a common question we ask DV victims. She tells me no. She thanks God that her kids are with their aunt in Jacksonville and will be coming back soon. She then proceeds to lie to me about a couple of other things. I keep my composure and give her Melissa's extension (she knows me, my name and my ext.) for further help. She denies wanting a DV injunction (go figure) and says she'll stay with a friend. The End. In the meantime, I can't help but remember that my children were almost given back to her by our lovely Department of Children and Families! 2 days before we were to go to court, it was her opportunity to prove to the judge what a martyr she has been, she got scared and signed off her rights. Against her attorney's wishes even! Which, all that means is that her attorney knew damn well she had an excellent shot at getting the kids back but was throwing it right out the window. So now I have all of the "what-if's" running through my mind. Like, what if they went back and were exposed to this again---for the past year! I think God works in mysterious ways and I truly believe someone was looking out for those kids' well being or else they would be with her today.

posted by VRA @ 11:19 AM 0 Comments: Post a Comment << Home