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- Visit from a friend -
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Tuesday, September 06, 2005
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Sunday afternoon a friend of mine & Chris' came to the house. Long story short, she is from Michigan, married, moved to Citrus County, continued her nursing career until she was injured, put up with years of abuse (mental) from her now former spouse, lost everything due to a divorce and bankruptcy, built herself back up again, rented a house about a block from me, eventually built her own through Habitat and is now on the right path. She has two grown daughters, one is my age, married to a deputy and the other is attending school in California. Anyway, she always told me how "cute" I look in turtleneck sweaters. I don't really need them here in Florida, with the exception for maybe a month, but I still like to wear them. She shops for elderly people she has befriended in thrift stores. When they have their bag sales she alwayst thinks of me and gets me a turtleneck sweater, but only if it's nice and a brand name (she's so funny). Well, she stopped by Sunday to deliver my sweaters and return a tupperware like container I gave her (filled with food) the last time she stopped by. Out of nowhere she asked me if God was in my life. Then she apologized. I asked her why she was apologizing, she said because she didn't want to offend me. I continued, a little shocked by the "offend" comment, with the fact that Tyler starts CCD next Sunday and how excited he is, blah blah. She said--"oh, you're Catholic"? I replied with "yes, why?". She asked me if I was raised Catholic and I told her no, I was raised basically Presbyterian, but only on holidays, weddings and funerals! She laughed and said how great it was that I converted to Catholicism and how she was raised Catholic. But--it must have hit her that I said I was Presbyterian. She gave me a HUGE hug and started crying. Crying out of happiness! I was thoroughly confused by now. She told me that it must be a sign from God. She went on to tell me how she was raised Catholic but never really "got it". She never really understood why she was at church, (keep in mind this was many years ago), she could never understand why services were partially Latin, she never understood any of it. She said she felt lost when she walked into church. She said, "Kelly, it was like a big puzzle to me. I had the outside border figured out, but I needed that essential piece of the puzzle to complete it--every piece I tried (forced) wouldn't fit...I tried and tried but kept getting the wrong puzzle piece". As she's saying this, I'm thinking of my friend Holly--because a lot of what she's saying is exactly what Holly has said (sometimes in not so many words) through the past couple of years. She told me about her friend Donna, who is also a good friend of Chris' who inspired her to read the bible. "Are you kidding?", she replied. My church told me NOT to read the bible, I wouldn't understand it anyway. Her friend Donna said, well then get yourself a Daily Devotional Bible, where each day of the year you read passages that are translated. Then, attempt to read the bible again. She did and said it was the most wonderful feeling, but she was still missing that piece of the puzzle. She said she admired Donna so much, here's this woman who has lost a lot in her life, including a husband, and still manages to get up and read the bible every morning faithfully. She said Donna doesn't always attend church, but she can thoroughly explain God's way. She said anytime she had "God" questions she ran to Donna. One night about a year ago she said she was up crying all night. Hysterically crying but for no reason. She said she was missing something, but couldn't place it and felt more lonely than she's ever been. That next day she woke up and felt the need to try church again. She went to 7 Rivers Presbyterian Church and said it felt like (and I don't know exactly what she said, so I'm going to type what I think it was and hope you understand) Jesus did when he cried tears of blood, and thinks that is what was happening to her. She said she has found a home with this church. The pastor started new with the church (from the ground up) ten years ago. He tells the congregation during every sermon how he has grown and keeps growing and learning every time he talks to people. My friend, Linda, felt the same way. She thinks that she was sent to this church for a reason and absolutely love it--so I guess when I told her I was Presbyterian she felt compelled. Compelled to go to her car and bring me a book--The Purpose Drive Life by Rick Warren. She invited me, through tears, to come to her "bible study" Wednesday night. She said she would introduce me to her family--not her "blood family" but her Church family, with whom she feels comes first in her life. She apologized to me again, and told me she didn't want to try to "take something away from me" but felt that God has sent her as a disciple to bring people closer to Him, and that's what she's on earth for is for God, so that's exactly what she does. She even said looking back, how she looked up to Donna so much, spiritually, but now wishes she could bring Donna up to her level; she feels she found the missing piece and now that she's found it everything else just falls into place. It was really kinda neat to see how God was working in her life. I told her I would go Wednesday night and I'm a little excited. Her "bible study" isn't actually studying the bible, instead they're going through The Purpose Driven Life. That's what the sermon is based around. In all honesty, I am not dreading it, but I'm hesitant. I really like my church, I LOVE the priest, he's the funniest, most down to earth guy I've seen in a Catholic church and doesn't hold back. My hesitancy is because I'm so busy. Too busy for God? Well, not really--but sorda. It starts at 6:30 and goes until 8, which means I'm going to have to get out of work (at 5) go get the boys, get them dinner and help Tyler with his Wednesday night homework (yes, they have designated days for homework in kg), make sure they're cleaned up (they're always all full of sand after school), take them to the daycare in the church (they'll probably get kicked out during the first visit! ha!), then focus on my study--all the while thinking about Chris going out on patrol for another day, facing looters, haters, etc... then manage to get them home, bathed and in bed by 8:30, their bed time. (If it goes much longer than 8:30 I'm in trouble the next morning, with 2 grouch boys!) So, I'm going to go, but it already stresses me out because I'm so busy being a "single mom" this week. :-(
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4 Comments:
My heart is racing right now. Kell....wow. I would love to talk to you about all of this. If you go, give me a call on your way home. This is kind of what I meant by not having Christian friends. I didn't mean that my friends didn't believe in Christ. I meant that they didn't know Christ as well as they thought they did...but if they did, it would give them so much hope. The first chapter in PDL (I have PDL with two women from work every Wednesday) is called "It's not about me." Yes, I'm still selfish. It's in my nature. However, my intention is not live for me anymore but for Him. I can't tell you how my life has cleaned up, how many better decisions I've made.
Don't stop going to your church. Maybe you don't have missing puzzle pieces. But if you find while reading PDL that maybe you do have missing pieces, don't be afraid to at least check out another church. Sometimes you have to die to the things you love and are used to in order to get the things you need. Your church might offer that for you, but if it doesn't, remember that Christ is in all churches. You are loyal to Him, not them. It was so difficult to leave the Pres. church in Holt. They are so traditional and I knew what was coming when. But the church wasn't teaching me anything about life. When I walked through the doors of Riv, everything started to fall into place. Through them, Christ reached me. They are crazy, wacky, interesting and totally relatable to my life. I've walked out of there many times sobbing because I felt God wrapping His huge arms around me and holding me.
I do not know what it is like to be as busy as you are. PDL talks about starting your day with God and you'll have such an awesome day. Its like that internet joke where the science teacher has the glass jar, the rocks and the sand. If you start with the rocks, all of the sand will fill in. Something like that. Wednesday nights might just be a starting place for you, Kell. I can see God wants to know you better and in new ways. He wants you to know Him, too. The real Him. Pray to Him. Ask Him for help with time, schedules, the boys, etc. because you want to get to know Him. Believe He will help and He'll give it to you.
Love you always and forever,
Holly Roo
"And now I must confess,
I could use some rest.
I can't run at this pace very long..."
Smiling!
Hey Kell...I know I have never written on your blog before, but I agree with Holla! I see that God is acting in your life in so many ways...and you are noticing. That is so awesome...because so many people just ignore the fact that he is there and he does care. I want to encourage you to keep praying and seeking him. Reading the bible is truely and excellent way to get to know what he is all about...I mean it is a book completely devoted to him. ;o) Inspired, and God breathed...so check it out and keep reading it. Devotional bibles are a terrific way to go, and helpful. God wants relationships with people, and how can someone have a relationship if they don't talk and share thoughts with each other. I see God working in you, and around you...remember that church is a building made of sticks and stones...not a house where God resides...CHURCH is the believing body of believers...those who earnestly seek God and believe in Jesus and who is...our Savior. It doesn't matter if you are a non-denominational, presbiterian, catholic, etc...those are all the litte buildings...and inside there are a ton of people who call themselves "Christians"....but aren't...and there are a lot who are too...Christians who are really really Christians. But know that God is a rewarder to those who earnestly seek him. Prayer, reading your bible, talking with other believers...are all good ways to learn more about him. Kell...you are an awesome person and I love ya...I will keep praying for you like I always do...and I hope what I said makes some sense...if not...let me know.
Joey-
It makes sense, little by little!
Holl-
I read the first chapter yesterday. I have to re-read it tonight. I understood it but it hasn't quite sunk in yet!
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